still bored
Tuesday, Nov. 11, 2008 - 18:49

I should have brought earplugs to this damn coffee shop, or, probably, headphones. There is a lady from an out-of-state private college meeting with high school seniors at the table right next to me. Which is fine, except that the student she's meeting with right now has her parents in tow, and the mother is a motherfucking loudmouth. Oh god. I wish she'd shut up. She's talking about her daughter's stupid french horn right now. It's a 1942 french horn. The school horn she was using was terrible, and then they found this 1940 one, it's in good condition, the sound is good, it's a 1941 yeah. The husband butts in quietly. The daughter adds something. Now the mother is telling a loud story about two asthmatics hiking up a mountain. God. But I came here for a specific purpose.

- I have not been writing enough lately and I haven't even cared. Not writing makes me feel worthless, like time is slipping by, slipping by. I could be writing a nanovel this month, I totally could, I just don't want to at all and I don't even care. I've started two little stories but all I want to do is write short stories. Or essays about myself.

- I have actually been doing stuff, why do I feel so worthless? I looked at a new place, I bought myself a portable hard drive, I've been reading, I've been sleeping (very important), I cleaned my whole bathroom and kitchen sink and dishes and kitchen floor. I got my car working again along with God's help. I went for a 12-mile-run (which was really only a little over 11 miles). I feel really bored and lethargic and stalled because of boy issues and so all I can do is check facebook over and over again. And that's dumb but whatever.

- Other things I've done: gone to the dentist, gone to the coffee shop, talked to my neighbor, laundry, cleaned my house, watched a movie, watched TV shows online. I have a lot to do but who can concentrate with this loudmouth yapping away next to me, shit. The crazy woman finally left but left her jacket. Woman! It's winter!

- I've eaten too many M&Ms today. I bought too many M&Ms on Sunday, it made me sick to even buy them, I knew what was coming and here I am, bleck.

- DJ night tonight, I am not going. Bowling tomorrow, I am not going. I want to play sad sad songs on my radio show this week but I also want to play loud fast songs. Springy songs. Or wintery songs. (Wintry.) If I spent a winter in a cabin, would I emerge with a brilliant beautiful album? No. I would emerge with nothing. I'm so unproductive. I wish I were traveling.

- I keep thinking about that dinner I had last Wednesday.

- I am reading Jack Kerouac again. This isn't necessarily good for me but at least it's something.

- One of my neighbors is here. He has the same car as me.