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- Today I am the purchaser of one of the finest lattes ever created this side of the Cascades. If I close my eyes and wrinkle my nose and imagine hard enough, I can pretend the latte is as good as those I used to get in Seattle. This morning I was the dreamer of a terrible nightmare, from which I awoke at 4:44 only to hear strange scary noises outside. At first I thought it was a bear in my yard, then I thought it was military airplanes, then I thought it was the interstate. I fell back asleep thinking it was cars on the street. Now I believe it was a helicopter - there was a fire north of town and at 4:44 it was probably just getting light enough for them to start dipping for water. The dream I woke up from was terrifying: there were two men psycho obsessed with me, one more dangerous than the other. The dangerous one broke into my house one night; a knife was involved. Tense discussion ensued and I might have fallen asleep. I woke up, early, and the dangerous one was gone - maybe he'd gone to a convenience store to get donuts. I went out to the alley door and the other guy was out there, standing outside my door in the early morning before he went to work, as he was wont to do. I let him in - he wasn't as dangerous as the other - and told him the other one had broken in during the night and that I was really freaked out and upset. Then I was in someone's trashy living room. There was a little girl, and a red polar bear, and a weapon, and the little girl's trashy mother's trashy boyfriend and/or brother, who had a trashy car. I told them I needed to get away - we got into the trashy guy's trashy car, he said "when?", I said "now!", and he started peeling out and we were driving away from the two psycho obsessed guys. It's a brand new day, isn't it? I'm excited about being able to say, once again, after two years of not saying it, my favorite phrase: fuck this, I'm leaving. I'm excited about outdoor movies. I'm excited that I'm taking next week off and going home. I'm excited about the prospect of tanning my shoulders, stomach, and upper thighs, getting rid of my runner's tan. I'm excited about reading some books (I've been reading books - I've found an author I'm obsessed with, "research" for my big heartbreaking Seattle story). Last time I was home I decided I needed some goals when I go there, otherwise I'll just watch movies, drink Mexican Coke, and sleep. This time I'll have goals. I'll climb a mountain and go swimming and see my rad Seattle friend and read books and pick berries and bake cookies (using room-temperature ingredients and letting it all sit for 36 hours before baking) and get in touch with high school friends. And more swimming. Oh yeah, and find a place to live (other than my parents' house - last night I told my mom I was looking for places and she seemed hurt that I wasn't considering moving back upstairs - maybe she doesn't realize I'm 32 years old) and find a job. Anyway, I was super happy to find out that it was a helicopter this morning. (I'd like to beat my head against a wall - how come I never learned to play the guitar?)
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