I came here for something
Tuesday, Sept. 04, 2007 - 13:10

I'll confess something and you can think of me what you will: I still haven't updated my resume. I.e., I haven't even taken the first step in finding a job. I finished my thesis a month ago and had to borrow money from my parents for this month.

All I need to add to my existing resume is my stupid new degree and the stupid TA job I had, really, and maybe try to make it a little more impressive than it otherwise is (for example, adding something about my superb research skills, my computer skills, and my high level of literacy, as well as my DJing and conference organizing experience).

But instead of even opening my resume file, all I can do is read books and listen to "Mr. Brightside" by the Killers over and over. It's silly.

I hadn't been able to find anything out about the half marathon I wanted to do in October so yesterday I decided - fine, I wasn't going to do it, and I felt very relieved. But today I heard about it on the radio and I just found the website for it and it's the last one - the last time they're sponsoring this run - so I have to do it. Oh god and there's a two-mile incline. I need to get out and run but it's still too smokey here ('smokey' looks better than 'smoky' to me). I had wanted to actually train for this half marathon and go for at least three long runs, go 12 miles (if not more) at least three times, but haven't.

I did important errands on Friday, got my new bike tire, watched two baseball games over the weekend and am going tonight, listened to a concert across the river last night. There's a trail run on Thursday, I'm doing a 10K on Saturday, the running club is having a meeting/picnic on Sunday, next Tuesday is a DJ meeting, the Sunday after that is a 4 mile race, and we need to meet soon for the nonprofit. I'm trying to pretend that I'm impressively busy, that I'm not just sitting around reading books and listening to the Killers and barely managing to get my garbage out on time.

If I could relax and be okay with myself it would be fine - if I could realize that this is my time to sit in my living room reading books and staying up late, I'm really very employable and I will find something soon enough - if I could do that it would be okay. If I could get myself to open my resume file that would be okay too, but as you can see, I'm typing into the internet instead.

I'm listening to my 5-star rated songs in WMP and they are fabulous. What was it I needed to do again? Oh yeah. I will, I will.