|
|
|
Wednesday, Aug. 15, 2007 I don't know, is it something in the air? The phase of the moon? The angle of the earth? What is going on? Something is, obviously, because this has turned into the Week of the Psycho Stalker. (I use the term 'psycho stalker' here not in the clinical sense but in the derogatory pejorative sense.) But I will talk about that at a later date. Instead, today, I will talk about yesterday. Lunch: was uncomfortable. I will talk about issues arising therefrom at a later date. ('therefrom' has got to be one of the dumbest things ever.) Then I sent a clink half a thousand miles away to someone. I don't know anymore what's good or bad or right or wrong, whether I should or shouldn't. All I know is that I had something I wanted to share with someone and so I did. Last night the smoke cleared enough to go for a run. I went to the ballpark but there was no game, so instead I watched a hill to the northwest of town burning up. It was a lovely evening and a lovely run. Then, back in my neighborhood, in the park by the creek, there was a four-point buck ten feet from the path. Deer scare the crap out of me - they're so jumpy and freaked out all the time. If they'd calm the fuck down they'd be fine. But this guy was okay. I walked by and he didn't act persecuted. I listened to the radio and it was an exciting night on NPR. Sometimes it is. I couldn't get to sleep - I haven't been able to go to sleep for the past few weeks. This is why I'm staying up until 3. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't breathe. I opened my curtains, 3 a.m., the smoke had cleared and the stars were twinkling. I put on my glasses and laid in my bed upsidedown with my head by the window, hoping to see a shooting star. I'm not doing anything, I have to do something - this ominous air isn't for living. I'm going home for two weeks, I'm leaving after the weekend. Maybe the planet will tilt away from this angle by the time I get back.
|