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Sunday/May I'm sorry if you're at the coffee shop waiting for me. I'm not there and won't get there today. My excuse is that I'm tired and my calendar is full. Here is why I'm tired: last week was finals week and even though I didn't have much to do at all, I didn't get much sleep. I spent the late-night hours dancing in my living room instead of writing a tiny paper. It was dumb and bad but I couldn't help it. Last weekend I ran a 12K, yesterday I ran a 10K, and I don't know how I think I'm going to do a half marathon this summer if 12Ks and 10Ks make me so tired. Yesterday about a mile and a half into the race the Gods of the Period decided to smite me but ha! Ha, you bastards! I knew what you were up to and took the necessary hygienic precautions. And so your nefarious plan caused me (excruciating) pain (of the uterus) for a mile or so but nothing else! Except being tired today and all yesterday afternoon. Another reason to be tired. Friday night, in preparation for the race the next morning, I went to a graduation party and partook in some vodka - this, of course, being my recently-established pre-race ritual. Without alcohol the night before I'd never be able to wake up early enough to go to some stupid race. Most people - maybe every other person in the world - sleep in when they drink. I do the opposite. I don't know why I enter races. During every single one for the first half of it I'm thinking: "Why do I do this to myself? This isn't fun, this is horrible. I could be home in bed right now. I should be home in bed right now. I should walk. If I walk it'll take forever to finish. Fine, I'll keep running, but this is sucks. I am insane. Why? Whyyyyy?" But it eventually gets better and I start thinking: "Oh, whatever, I'll just keep running, la di da, what nice views, is that someone coming up behind me? I don't think so, fucker, you're not passing me." Etc. At the race yesterday I won a CD player. Hilarious. I don't need it at all so I think I'll give it to my dad, even though he doesn't need it at all either. I plan to get back into the Sunday coffee shop routine but maybe not until June - I have busyness all around for the rest of this month. The coffee shop thing was something I needed to do just like the boy-free May thing. I get myself into ruts and need some kind of project to get me out of them. Go to a coffee shop on Sunday to make sure I get up and get dressed and get out of the house. Have a boy-free May so that I don't get all down and depressed about the lack of phone calls or whatever. Exciting Writing Contests to make me write something, anything, crap or not. I have no internal motivation and if I don't have to do anything, I don't do anything. But I need to do things or else I get depressed. Etc. I also like origami. I rearranged my living room on impulse last night. Mid-project I got lured over next door for a beer and a rhubarb cake recipe.
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