April, the fourth month of the year.
Sunday, Apr. 01, 2007 - 21:23

Dear diary,

You wouldn't believe how soft my hair is right now, and you also wouldn't believe how antimuch I didn't not get done this weekend.

My period came late this month after so many months of being tiresomely predictable. But it came late, probably because of those terrible weeks of personal and private problems when the weight was dripping off my body along with my clothes, and, hence, no iron or anything else getting absorbed into me.

This evening I'm going to officially and publicly get into an orange jumpsuit and climb on an aircraft carrier and stand under a large sign reading "Mission Accomplished". Wait. Wait, no I won't, because the whole thing that's wrong about that is that no mission was ever accomplished when the original guy I'd be parodying did that. So never mind. Anyway, I'm all fixed. The little guys are busy in my guts doing what little guys do.

And so we bid adieu to those lovely (and terribly unlovely) days of eating without consequence. I have gained weight, I mean, and although I kind of know that this is good, I also kind of don't like it.

I'm a lazy piece of shit and have done nothing for the past few days. Yesterday I attempted some spring cleaning, cleaned my counter off, arranged some shelves, moved back into the bathroom (repairmen are my enemies), made corned beef, planted primroses and marigolds outside.

I registered for a race. Five weeks, girl. Five weeks to train for this. And then: half-marathons, and beyond!

I have a thesis to write and books to read. I have a class to teach and lessons to prepare, not to mention speeches from over a week ago to grade. Problem: I can't be bothered with any of it.

"I can't be bothered" - such a great expression. Much better than "I'm a lazy piece of shit". It makes you sound so not responsible for it. It makes you sound so occupied-with-other-things and so British.

I want to be on vacation.

My fingernails are bit off, still. What's wrong? What's wrong, honey, someone should ask me. Then they should put me in a sauna, or at least build a fire for me.

I should get a pet, it would give me some direction.

Perhaps I'll get a fish.

WOW my hair is soft right now and that's all.