oh what a glass of wine or two will produce
Wednesday, Oct. 18, 2006 - 21:13

Two boys, age 13, in an effort to get some, decided to form a band. They called themselves I Am A Bunghole. Their parents, when they found out about the name (a year and a half later due to vigilent secrecy on the part of the band), rolled their eyes, grimaced, and requested a name change. The band refused.

By this time their songs were beginning to resemble songs and the band was being booked for the occasional cousin's birthday party.

The band members still were not getting any.

By age 17 they had forgotten about the original goal of the band and had become quite serious about the music. They released a limited edition EP on cassette. Five copies were made, three were distributed to fans, and one of those fans wasn't even a family member. Their next effort, a seven-song rolling epic of an EP called The Fishmonger's Daughter, made it into the hands of 13 fans and was bootlegged multiple times. Kids at Vista Lista High School today are still listening to great-great-granddaughter tapes.

The next year the boys graduated from high school. Friends went off to college but the boys remained in their garages, playing, singing, and recording. They reluctantly moved from cassette to CD-R, lamenting the loss of analog quality but appreciating the minimized workload. A record 100 copies of their next EP, The Battle of Bloody Evermore, was produced, distributed, and promptly used as coasters by all 93 non-family owners of said disc.

I Am A Bunghole had come upon dark days.

Reviews of the album, informal and verbal, spouted off to the band members at parties after a few beers had killed the beast of propriety and mercy, were peppered with words like "enigmatic", "off-putting", "inaccessible", and "fucking stupid".

I Am A Bunghole retreated into the studio and worked out their artistic frustrations in the form of a 24-minute free-form jazz version of Eminem's "Lose Yourself".