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- Bad news in the form of good news this morning: I am going to have to go on a grease-free and dairy-free diet for a month. A month! Me! No grease! No dairy! I am hurt and confused about this. What will I eat? Jesus, seriously, what can I eat? I don't want to lose any weight, that would be disgusting and dumb, but what will I eat? Beans? Beans. I will eat beans. At Canadian Thanksgiving yesterday I totally pigged out. I ate my first plate of food all gone and everyone else was moaning, saying they were going to explode. Me, I was like, hey, it's time for seconds. Then I finished my seconds and really wanted more but decided to restrain myself. This will not be able to happen anymore. Gravy is greasy. So is turkey? But I have leftovers! I will start my diet tomorrow, or the next day. I swear I have a parasite but apparently no, I don't. I wish I did. That would be so much simpler.
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