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- I will tell you about acupuncture. This week they had to drain some of the heat and dampness that I had in me. Apparently I caught some heat and dampness in Costa Rica, that bastard country. I've been messed up ever since. You don't want to know how, really. So they drained some heat and dampness and also gave me Chinese pills and some high-quality acidophilus (now you know one of the ways I've been messed up). The needles left more marks this time than normal, and also there was some blood from the pinpricks. Maybe because I looked at myself this time - I looked down to see all the needles sticking up out of me and I usually don't do that. Also I moved my arm to itch my nose and usually I don't do that either because - needles in arms, you move your arms, something gets messed up. I don't know how far in the needles go but I imagine it's like basting (or whatever it's called) when you're quiltmaking. You know? So don't move. Anyway acupuncture is rad and I love it and afterwards always feel this great combination of relaxed and energized and yes sometimes I limp home because it's so good. Oh. I just googled acidophilus and maybe you're thinking something else. It's my poos. They are not right. Okay? Remember my terrible time in the jungle? It's been all wrong ever since then. Addendum which I wasn't going to write but now I am and only girls should read it: Since I started acupuncture my ahem womanly times have come at respectable regular intervals, which is why I started going. And this is annoying. Having regular periods is tiresome. Like I went to Costa Rica, and one of my 60 day cycles would have been really nice then, to just skip that month entirely, but NOOOOOOOOO I had to get my period on time and so I had to wade through the goddamn jungle on day number TWO. And then this month, I had a race to run and a few days before started getting cramps and a period felt imminent, and I thought, oh, I'll have cramps for a week and then it won't start, but NOOOOOOOOO, my stinking period had to start on day 29 - day 29! - so I had to run the race on day number TWO again. Day number two is the heaviest most uncomfortable day for me. YEAH. THANKS A LOT ACUPUNCTURE. No but really it's good. So no hearts today but I won't be stopped from mentioning how cute and fun things are. I know, I know, I'll pay for it later, but I'm enjoying it now.
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