Friday the 13th
Friday, Jan. 13, 2006 - 18:15

Options for this evening were:

- go jogging
- play the piano alone
- buy a bottle of the wine and lay on the living room floor and get numb
- get into bed

I was probably going to do all four. There are two shows I could go to and I've been so reclusive this week that there was no way I was going to do either.

But instead here's how the evening might pan out:

- go jogging
- go to a friend's house
- lay on her living room floor and get numb
- get into bed

Better, probably. I've just wanted to be alone but I think it'll be nice to be pulled out of my head.

My old friend the boy came and talked to me today. He wasn't uncomfortable and he was nice. And damn it if I weren't taking Chinese happy pills this week I'd be crying as I'm typing this but I'm not, but man, I feel so bad for him, he's going through some shit and I would like to be a friend to him and help him out and listen and offer advice and support. Or, if not that, I would at least like to just be an okay thing for him now instead of a negative thing. I know I added to his pile of crap and that makes me feel really really bad. However. He wasn't talking to me, I can't help if he won't do that, and I had to do what I did. Anyway, fuck, I hope he understands, I hope he gets through the next week okay, I hope he gets through the next two weeks okay, I hope everything works out for him.

If I die en route to Costa Rica he gets my CDs.

I got a massage today.

I sent out my weekly underground newsletter at work today after a break of four or five months. Someone hooted when they got it.