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title It turns out all my problems have stemmed from a lack of vitamins. That's not true at all but that's what I'm saying today. Here's what I'm wearing tonight! A black velvet vintage '50s dress, wide scoop neck and short sleeves and it goes down like mid-calf and is fitted through the bodice (can you tell I'm making this up, I have no idea how to describe dresses) and has a little shelf for boobies, totally cute and soft and I will be petting myself all evening. And a thing! This triangle shawl thing, black velvet on one side and red satin on the inside and black beady things around the edge. This is for security and comfort, it's like having my blankey wrapped around my shoulders. And a red bra to match the red satin. No one will see this bra unless they are very lucky or unless I am very unlucky. Pantyhose perhaps. Shoes: a big clonky heel and open toes and they make my feet look itty-bitty, three toes wide, and there are black beady things on them. My feet will die a cold painful death but they will look fabulous doing it. Underwear. A black bead necklace. I have to go buy black beady earrings at lunch today. (I should have red underwear too but I do not. I've been spending money like crazy lately so why not buy some new red underwear at lunch too? Why the hell not? Red!) A giant long gray coat, seriously ridiculous that I bought it but it was on sale! Forty percent off! A $300 coat, I will leave the math to you. I was planning to wear it and return it like an asshole - don't tell the department store I bought it from. It has a hood. I haven't told you about my weakness for hoodies, but, I have a weakness for hoodies and might keep this ridiculous huge coat. This is all very fancy-schmancy for me and I am not planning to do my hair, just for spite. Cab vouchers! Booze and food! Fancy-schmancy law firm!
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