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arduous Always of course you have a choice: protect yourself or take a chance. Being a romantic of course it is obvious what I will probably choose. However, I possess a hard bitter shell. I am damaged and I've known hurt and am not keen on experiencing it again. But, regardless, presented that way, as such a simple choice, obviously I know I need to stop being tenuous and just take a fucking chance. Yes I know in two months I'll be lying in bed crying and hitting myself on the forehead, but if I ever got out of bed and put a pen to paper I'd have something to write about so KELSI JUST CALM DOWN AND OPEN UP. And HELLO he's the CUTE BOY FROM WORK, he is really fucking cute, and there are other cute boys, so when this one drops me there are OTHER CUTE BOYS. Anyway. I will try to stop being so secretly dumb. I haven't talked about this to him yet. I almost started crying at dinner tonight. That would have been dumb. I am tired. And so begins another week in the life.
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