Also, I did some laundry, and: farewell to another exciting May.
Tuesday, May. 31, 2005 - 21:58

I went home for the weekend, I just got back. I was driving back to Seattle, clouds stick to mountains, I was driving through the clouds of sunset over the mountains. There was rain, it was nice.

Over the weekend, I: may or may not have fixed the leak in my truck (if you have a Dodge, check your toolbox; wet? right.), received a proposal of marriage from a person with dual U.S./Australia citizenship (totally would have fixed that stupid three month visa problem, right?), flipped off two truck drivers (if it was you and it hurt your feelings, I'm not going to apologize, you have no business passing other trucks on curvy inclines ASSHOLE), very nearly lost my temper (something that happens like once a decade, but when it does, well, I should go into a room by myself), visited two graveyards and wondered about people, bit off my already-bitten fingernails (I am a tactile person with an oral fixation), slept in until 11:00 on Saturday! and would have kept on sleeping had my sister not woken me up (and on Sunday slept in until 10! Yeah, take that insomnia, you stale old beast!), and finally finished the baby blanket I started sewing LAST SUMMER.

I also became very silly and sentimental and started thinking about my ancestors and prairies and things like that. Graveyards and cottonwood trees will do that to you. I will spare you the crap I wrote except for the end, which was that I know what to do when I smell cottonwood trees. Obviously: get on a boat and go west.

I'm totally looking forward to work tomorrow, seriously.

And now we sadly bid farewell to the month of May. Yes, tonight marks the final night of National Masturbation Month. I don't know what June is. Never mind, now I do, I just Googled it. (By the way, please never Google "urethra".)

June is: National Dairy Month, National Safety Month, National Aphasia Awareness Month, National Homeownership Month, National Flag Month, National Scuba Month, National Learn To Fly Month, National Disaster Preparedness For Animals Month, and National Rebuild Your Life Month. Those are all nice, but it's also National Iced Tea Month, and I think that's the one I'm going to celebrate.

Oh but wait, I am so Americacentric! June is also International Men's Month (phooey, why do they need a month?), International GLBT Pride Month, International Accordion Awareness Month, International Volunteer Month, International Heart Month, International Cemetery Month, International Boycott Internet Rolls Month (um, I think they meant "trolls"), International Masturbation Month (wrong, that was last month, prolonged pervert), and International People Skills Month.

Hmm, so many to choose from. I think I'm going to stick with iced tea, screw anyone who lives outside the U.S.! What's their problem anyway! Why don't they like iced tea? I'll tell you why, it's because they hate freedom! You bastard commies, no iced tea for you!