An entry that ends with a fight because I'm such a snot
Tuesday, Apr. 19, 2005 - 21:01

1. There is a new pope. Everyone I came into contact today was raised Catholic, including myself. We are everywhere. Only one of us is still Catholic, though, and he went to mass on his lunch break.

2. Despite the fact that I hate cellphones, despite the fact that I saw a projection that in 2006 there will be 6 billion (or something) cellphones in use and big companies and executives are looking forward to making as much money off that as possible, which annoys me to no end, despite the fact that I don't even have anyone to talk to, despite the fact that no one ever calls me on my home phone, I'm getting a cellphone. I'm hoping it will improve my sex life. Ha ha, I'm just kidding! No I'm not.

Yes I am!

3. I had a load in the washer, I went downstairs, lo and behold the sink the washer drains into was full of water, I mean, it was FULL, it was up to THERE. What did I do? Of course I waited for the water to slowly go away and I put another load in.

4. Here's a poette I wrote today on the bus, in tribute to the woman who was standing in the aisle who abandoned her bags in the middle of the aisle as soon as a seat was vacated for her to sit in:

I am big,
my bags,
make way.

You know the type I'm talking about! They exist, I don't know what their deal is, but I've met quite a few of them, enough to put them into a Type: They are large women who carry around a lot of shit with them, like bags or coats or umbrellas, and they make a big deal about how much stuff they have and how heavy it is, and they make everyone around them accommodate them, and they are drama queens. Miss Crazypants was a good example of this. I'm sure there's a huge complex reason behind all of it. I hope they all get help, they annoy the fuck out of me.

I'm not trying to be a size 6 snot. I think, actually, that their weight is one of the results of whatever the fuck their problem is, and I'm sure whatever that problem is is pretty big, pretty terrible, so instead of being such a snot, yes I am a snot, they annoy me, but I should be a little more compassionate. Everyone has crap to deal with.

But this woman left her bags in the middle of the aisle on a crowded standing-room-only bus, so everyone who got off was tripping over them!

I will change the poette:

I am big,
my baggage,
make way.

"Baggage", you know, can be physical or emotional. WOW.

5. So I might as well tell you now that I got another pair of size 6 pants, but, once again they didn't have size 8, they were on sale, and they fit. But both of the size 6 pants that I have are made by the same company. Obviously they're big size sixes. And I have a pair of size 10 pants that I also wear. Those pants I got at Wal*Mart to wear when I was a maid, and now I'm wearing them to my fancy law firm job. It's a small act of revenge. Revenge on what? you should be asking. I don't know, I would say. Revenge on yourself for being such a snot, you would say. I'm so sure, I would say, I'm not a snot. Yes you are, you would say, you totally are, you should stop typing right now, finish your laundry, take a shower, and go to bed. What if I don't want to, I would say. Fine go ahead and keep on typing but we're not going to read anymore, you would say. Fine, I would say. Fine, you would say. Fine I will, I would say. Good, you would say.