A trip to Hell
Saturday, December 15, 2001 - 23:04

We went to Hell today to see the Lion King, which was simply fanTAStic, fanTAStic. And lo and behold, sitting behind us was none other than Heather Locklear. She was sitting with some little girls and someone who was probably her sister. During the entr'acte Mr. Pooh turned around and told her that he'd been trying to stay as low as possible so that the little girl behind him could see, but if she wanted him to he could switch places with me. Heather Locklear said to Mr. Pooh, "Oh, you're so sweet!" Mr. Pooh also dropped a dime, and Heather Locklear picked it up and gave it back to Mr. Pooh.

Mr. Pooh didn't know who she was, but figured out that she was someone famous when this girl sitting on the other side of us turned around with a piece of paper and a pen and said, "Ms. Locklear? Could I trouble you?" and gave Ms. Locklear that paper to sign. Then the girl said, "Thank you so much. You're so gorgeous. I'm a huge fan."

I, of course, stole furtive uninvasive glances at Ms. Locklear throughout the play. She's very petite.

After the play, we went to an exTREMEly swanky restaurant. This place was like you only see in James Bond movies. The waiters were dressed in pure white, some of the tabletops were lit up, they had a plasma display when you first walked in, they had a waiting area of couches covered in white slip covers, they had a bar that made Jetson-looking martinis, they had a skywalk in the middle of the restaurant, they had a little balcony with a small table for two that looked out over the front room of the restaurant, there was a 20 foot square mirror next to where we ate, every server said "Good evening" to us when we walked in, AND they pulled out our chairs and put our napkins in our laps. Despite all this swankiness, they were not snooty, the prices were surprisingly moderate, and the food was surprisingly unminimalist. I've been in places that weren't even half as cool as that place that charged twice as more for half as much food, and they were snooty about it.

So that was my day, a nother trip to Hell. Damn, that place is strange.