This is an entry about sex, folks
2000-02-09 - 21:56:21

To spice up my lame ass diary a little, I thought I'd add an entry about sex. So sit back while I tell you this story, entitled "How I Lost My Virginity."

I never had boyfriends. Every New Years from seventh grade up until I was a junior in high school my resolution would be to get a boyfriend that year. I rarely did. So I didn't have sex, obviously, since I didn't have a boyfriend to do it with and since I have a hard time being an easy slut. It's just not natural for me, you know?

So anyway, when I was a senior in high school I finally got a real boyfriend, and I knew that he wasn't just any boyfriend, he was THE boyfriend. The best. Better than any my slutty friends had. He was awesome and fun and he treated me the right way. My friends were all jealous and were mean to us. I actually told my best friend to fuck off and she wouldn't talk to me for years after that. Fuck her and fuck all of them.

Anyway, after a month of being boyfriend and girlfriend, we had sex. It wasn't good. I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing to make it better. It hurt and didn't feel good, but hell, it was sex. Afterwards, I didn't feel any different, and that kind of bothered me. A few years before a girl had told me, "When you lose your virginity you just cry and cry, because it's a special part of you that you've lost." I didn't feel like that at all. It wasn't special or significant. It was just sex.

But I felt bad for feeling so nonchalant about it, so I burned my favorite pair of underwear in the campfire afterwards. I liked to say that I had burned them in effigy, but actually it was kind of a necessity. Blood, you know, but no toilet paper or anything. What to wipe with? I had extra underwear, so I used that. Then I didn't know what to do with them, since they were all bloody, so I burned them.

And that fucking sucked, because they were my favorite pair of underwear.

This isn't really the erotic story you were looking for. Sorry, maybe some other time. I do have some good stories to tell. I don't know if I want to though, because some of them are rather, ahem, incriminating.