a bad relationship can fuck your shit up for a long, long time
Saturday, Feb. 12, 2011 - 20:34

Film festival time, one of my favorite things about this place, my third year volunteering for it and fourth year attending. I've seen five already and before the festival is over I'll probably have seen 30 more.

Documentaries are never what you expect.

A lot of things are coming back around at me. There's a film about Nick Drake tomorrow - Nick Drake, who I have a hard time even mentioning, and maybe it's all because of how I was introduced to him. There's a film I saw in Australia seven years ago - it changed my life, really, although everything was changing my life then. This Big Thing happened to me, and everything's the result of that, but part of that Big Thing was something that I suppose I need to let go of. I thought I had, but it's still hanging on to me in ways that it shouldn't be.

So I either get over it or I don't.

Two months ago, in December, Rob Brezsny told me this:

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In 2011, I bet that memory won't play as big a role in your life as it has up until now. I don't mean to say that you will neglect or forget about the past. Rather, I expect that you will be less hemmed in by the consequences of what happened way back when. You'll be able to work around and maybe even transcend the limitations that the old days and the old ways used to impose on you. Your free will? It will be freer than maybe it has ever been. Your creative powers will override the inertia of how things have always been done.

He also told me to get over something, and I thought he meant one thing, but maybe he meant this.