December, I welcome you
Sunday, Nov. 30, 2008 - 18:09

It's been a pretty unsuccessful day for me in the bathroom today, and maybe that doesn't make you want to hear about it but I'm going to tell you anyway. First, we stopped at a gas station and I used the toilet as one is wont to do at a gas station. Fortunately I had not deposited anything unladylike in the toilet, because when I flushed the toilet it turned out to be clogged. I didn't clog it, I just happened upon it unsuspecting.

Then, a little further down the road, we stopped at an antique store, and I used their bathroom and nothing untoward occurred until I tried to get out and found that I was locked in. I stood there a while fiddling with the doorknob trying to unlock it, and then I started wondering what to do when a lady came up to the other side and said, "Are you stuck?" She passed me a screwdriver under the door to take off the doorknob but she gave me a flat and I needed a phillips. Then she decided to take the door off the hinges when suddenly the doorknob unlocked. It was pretty tense/lame/embarrassing for a second.

Nothing else has happened, bathroom-wise, since then.

But it's hunting season and everyone's driving around with stiff dead deer tied all over their cars and trucks. When I got home I went for a run and turned down a street and had to run by a minivan with a large dead deerbutt pointing at me. I flapped my hands helplessly and couldn't cross to the other side of the street because a car was driving by.

Here's some more super spam sent to me by me:

What was omitted in Wiki
The most expensive book in NY
NATO parallel government
McCain's fifth term cancelled
Blackout danger on West
hostages in Georgia

Here's an awesome one, sent by Hruska Scrobola: one wife is nnot enough

Mr. Scrobola says he has one wife and two mistresses and he can fuck them all several times a day and I can too if I go to his website (his women? is he offering his women to me?), and then he says: "? I don't want to believe that it wasn'ti meanthat eating, drinking and stretching. Research in this on the twentyninth as i said. 'i gave a great but i have at least ensured that, if i die, my at him in stupefaction. Suddenly she let out a."

She let out a what? A WHAT?

Text message update: that guy has sent me ONE DOZEN UNREQUITED TEXT MESSAGES. It was obnoxious, now it's egregious. No I haven't responded and I'm not going to. I don't have a text plan! Jesus, people!