|
|
|
- In class this afternoon I'm thinking, jesus, shut up, ugh what am I doing here, this is stupid and I'm wasting my time. I'm bored, I realized today. It's so low key here, which is nice, a nice change from grad school #1, but it's so low key it's too low key, maybe. I get out of class, check my phone, there's a message from Kevin. He's coming here, not this weekend like he'd originally planned, but next weekend. I walk home, consider calling him back but realize I'm too weepy to do that, I'd start crying. Because man, what am I doing here? I left my life, I left that life, and I miss it so much. And what am I doing here? I call him after I get home and in the conversation of course comes mention of someone and this small brief mention knocks my world off balance and here I am now, thinking about this, this small bit of new information I have. My imagination goes off in all kinds of directions and I don't know what to do now. My imagination is the thing that drives me. Sometimes I wish I didn't live in my head so much. But man. I don't know, I just might fly to Seattle for one of the Band of Horses shows. Not just to see that band that I (fucking) love but also to see the city that I (fucking) love and the people that I (fucking) love. I (fucking) miss those people. (If I did though I doubt I'd see the one person that I (fucking) miss the most and that would (fucking) knock my world off balance again.) So I'll sit here tonight, cold, shivering, daydreaming. What I should be doing is the dishes.
|