The Ides of March
Wednesday, Mar. 15, 2006 - 09:57

I'm in Seattle and I'm alive. I'm happy to still be alive but it is slightly disturbing because I earnestly honestly thought I was going to die, I almost canceled the trip I thought it so strongly.

My last semester of college, the month I was flying around looking at grad schools, I thought I was going to die then too and I didn't. And the first time I went to Australia, I cried for two days before I left because I was certain I was going to die and I wrote up a little thing about my funeral plans. And I didn't die! I still haven't died! (Unless you subscribe to my theory of branching realities, in which case, I haven't died in this reality, but in other realities I'm long dead.)

Anway the whole thing that's disturbing about this is that I have no intuition and I will probably die when I'm least expecting it and I don't like that, I'd like to be prepared for it. And it will probably happen at the stupidest time possible, like on the elevator after work one Tuesday, or at the grocery store buying tampons and flour.

However. Then Rob Brezsny said to me today:

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): One day 17 years ago I was lying alone on my acupuncturist's table, floating in that hypnogogic state you sometimes slip into when your ears, wrists, feet, and forehead are pierced with needles. At one point she came in to check on me. Patting me on the upper arm, she murmured, "You will live a long life." I received it as a prophecy, as a gift from her intuition to mine. In the days and months that followed, it stripped away the habitual anxiety I carried around with me and freed me to live with more courage and abandon. It gave me license to believe more wildly in my own potential. Now I'm offering you the same gift, Pisces. If you're reading this horoscope today, you will live a long life.

And he's probably fooling me and I'll happily blindly go to my death next week when an errant hammer falls off some roof onto my head. But whatever, what can I do about it.

Also: I plan to type up some of my things from Costa Rica and I'll enter them here or somewhere and I'll let you know or whatever, I mean I don't plan to let the last month go by unrecorded, you know?