Evil slang
Wensday, January 23, 2002 - 19:19

When I was in first grade the funniest joke was this: Say 'lettuce' and spell 'cup'. Lettuce C-U-P. Ha ha! Get it? Let us see you pee. See you pee!

I told this joke at dinner one night and my mother was horrified. I bet she prayed for my soul that night. She didn't like all the slang that we picked up at school. She thought it was a sign of the degradation of society and the decline of moral values.

One day, before I had started school, my older sister came home and said to me, "Don't have a spaz attack." My mother was horrified about that too. She probably prayed for my sister's soul that night.

My mom also didn't like 'neato' and 'shut up', both of which my sister brought home. So she sent my older sister to a Christian school, where she was caught cheating on a penmanship test. She only went to that school one year, and I didn't have to go to it at all.