A poop story
Tuesday, December 11, 2001 x 2 - 13:36

My exbestfriend and I had few secrets - we were quite honest with each other about unimportant things. Important things were a different story. One of the things we sometimes talked about was poop. Our favorite kind of poop was marble poop, the kind where your poop isn't one long turd, it's a bunch of smaller turds. Why it was our favorite, I'm not sure. We were odd.

Anyway, one day in the summer before our senior year of high school, my exbestfriend was over at this boy's house in a different town. She had just met him and was actively pursuing him. (She was a slut and actively pursued boy after boy. Many boys.) It was the first time she'd ever been to his house, and unfortunately she felt the need to poop. Pooping over at a strange house is a very intimate thing to do. You don't do it on your first visit. I didn't poop at Mr. Pooh's house for about a year.

So my exbestfriend decided that she couldn't hold it and went into his bathroom. She produced floaty marble poop. She flushed the toilet. Some of the turds didn't flush. She flushed the toilet again. Still two turds remained.

My exbestfriend was faced with quite a dilemma. Should she keep on flushing the toilet until all the turds went away? This boy that she was trying to impress would surely hear all the flushing and would know that she'd pooped. Should she wrap the turds in toilet paper and throw them away, hoping that the boy's mother emptied the garbage before it started stinking too much? Unfortunately that wasn't even an option, because she couldn't find any garbage in the bathroom. Should she put them in her pocket and throw them away somewhere else? She didn't know what to do, and the boy was going to start wondering what was taking her so long in the bathroom. Then, she spotted the window. So she opened up the window and threw the turds outside into the boy's yard.