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Three stories from fourth grade
Rursday, May 31, 2001 - 10:55

In fourth grade one day, my teacher wrote "The camel has two humps" on the board. Everyone started laughing. She didn't know why we were laughing. It was because she'd written "hump". "Hump" was an important word in fourth grade.

There was this kid who didn't have a hand--it was chopped off just above the wrist or something--I don't know what happened to it--but anyway, he still had part of the wrist joint, so the tip of his arm could move. So one day at lunch in fourth grade, he had some food on his face and he wiped it off with his stump, and the tip of it moved. For some reason, this totally grossed me out. I just sat there staring at him and being grossed out.

Then one day in fourth grade this fat kid named Mark got sick and ran down the hall barfing. So there was a line of barf going down the hall. Then this kid from Poland, Bart, his dad came to pick him up and was standing in the hall talking to Bart's teacher. His shoe was right next to one of the barf chunks, and the barf chunk would move when Bart's dad shifted his weight. For some reason I was in the hall looking at the barf, and I just stood there, grossed out, staring at Bart's dad's shoe touching the barf.

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