How my big sister jumped over a horse, and other tales of country living
Wensday, May 2, 2001 - 19:42

When I was little I had a friend who lived out of town and had a horse that we liked to play with. To get on the horse we usually boosted each other up. One day we decided to try to get on by climbing on this stove that was sitting by one of the barns and then jumping on the horse from that. So we moved the horse by the stove, and my big sister went first. She got up on the stove, jumped, and landed on the ground on the other side of the horse. It was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I couldn't laugh, though, because she was all hurt and crying and stuff. But I remembered this the other night and started laughing out loud.

One time I was braiding the horse's tail, and he farted in my face.

One day I learned to gallop. Or rather I learned to make the horse gallop while I stayed on his back. When my mom came to pick me up, I demonstrated this new talent for her. But the horse started pooping while I was galloping around, and nobody was really impressed.

One day my friend and I captured this white barn cat. Somehow we got it trapped in the milkroom. The cat freaked out and started running around in circles around the room, and then started going faster and faster until finally it was running on the walls. So we opened the door and the cat fell out when it got to the door.

One time there were four of us on the horse, and we started going up this hill, but we all slid off the back and fell onto the muddy ground.

One time my friend and I were riding our bikes from my house in town out to her house, and we found a rabbit on the side of the road, so we caught the rabbit and I put it in my backpack to take to her house. The rabbit peed in my backpack.

My friend moved away in sixth grade.

A few years later I got really drunk out in the woods near her old house and I tried to walk to town on the road we'd found the rabbit on, but I didn't make it.