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How to win friends and influence people, Dairyland style How to get red on your buddy list: stay away from Dairyland for a couple of days. How to get a lot of hits on your page in one day: update four times that day. How to get people to like you: sign as many guestbooks as you can using the formula "Your diary is SO GOOD! I love it! You write so well and your layout is fantabulous. If you want to look at something really awful, come read my piece of crap diary." Then those suckers will go to your page, see it doesn't suck, and they'll sign your guestbook with stuff like "How can you say my diary is good? My diary is shit compared to yours. You are so cool. I love you now." Then they'll add you to their buddy list and you'll look really popular. (I'm on to you, o false ones. Not that this has happened to me, and not that I do this.) p.s. The paper I stayed up all night doing? Got a really good grade on it. It was "excellent" and "very professional". I should "keep up the good work". I feel like shit when I turn in a really bad paper that I could have done so much better on and the teacher says nice stuff about it, especially when they use exclamation points. It only reinforces my procrastinating slacker tendencies. p.s.s. I'm meeting with a professor next week to discuss my future with the program. p.s.s.s. Staying up from Monday morning till Tuesday night is not a good way to start out the week.
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