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Crotch novels, part 2 In keeping with the crotch novel theme, here are some things I hate about them: The man is always the hugest man who ever lived. The woman is usually the smallest woman who ever lived--but perfectly formed. This makes me think that he's like 9 feet tall, and she's like 2 feet tall. The man is always well endowed, with a 2 foot long pulsating member of velvet steel. Since the woman is so tiny, the man's throbbing manhood would kill the woman. But they never think about that. The man is always a slut. He's had sex with scores, nay, hundreds of women. The woman is always a virgin. The man and woman hate each other and fight a lot, but find themselves strangely exhilarated by their verbal battles. When they have sex for the first time, the man always thinks that "it's never been like this before"--despite the fact that he's had sex with hundreds, nay, thousands of women. They always reach the pinnacle of existence at the same time. The woman usually gets kidnapped by the man's enemy. They won't admit that they love each other until the end. There's always at least one misspelling in the book. Blah blah. That's all I have to say about crotch novels. The end.
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